OK I have just about reached critical mass on this one so allow me to take this opportunity to correct something of a misapprehension many of you people seem to have. Here is an example of a typical exchange I might take part in while grocery shopping or throwing darts in a pub.
Random person on street: “Hey look it’s Zach Galifianakis!”
Me (aside): “Oh, you noticed I have a beard, how clever, you are certainly the first person who has ever pointed that out to me or in fact to any other guy with a big bushy beard. You are obviously some kind of genius.”
It seems like every time I am out in public, somebody points at me and says “It’s that guy from the Hangover!” I’m even getting random friends-of-friends commenting on pictures of me on Facebook.
Enough is enough people. Zach Galifianakis is a talented and funny guy with a big beard. I’m a ta…. well, a guy with a big beard. That is about where the resemblance ends.
Pay attention folks
As you can see, and I understand how this might be easy to miss if you suffered severe oxygen deprivation and subsequent brain damage at some earlier point in your life, Zach Galifianakis has dark hair and I am blonde. I’ve got the big old red nose of a drunken Irishman. Zach Galifianakis is Greek. I’ve got shorter hair which, again, is a completely different color. We do have similar eyes/eyebrows I guess.
So what happens if you take the big bushy beards away?
Hey, that Zach Galifianakis is a pretty good-looking guy. Whereas I, well, I’m still just a big fat nerd but with less beard. Boy he really has some kind of smoldering Greek thing going on doesn’t he?
Well what about some alternate form of facial hair?
This is me with a mustache instead of a beard:
This is Zach Galifianakis with a mustache instead of a beard:
OK well looks like Zach Galifianakis has a butt-chin too, no wonder he grows the beard out all the time.
Still, I think it’s pretty clear that we look nothing alike and the only real resemblance people are seizing on is the beard thing. So please, unless you are some rich Hollywood type who wants to pay me millions of dollars to act goofy in a movie, stop calling me Zach Galifianakis.
Oh, and Zach, please don’t take it personally. I think you’re pretty great.
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