Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Bohemia beer, photo by flickr user drewesque

Bohemia beer, photo by flickr user drewesque

Today is the Mexican version of St. Patrick’s Day, in which instead of wearing green and drinking cheap beer until you black out and pee on your neighbor’s dog, in America you wear whatever you feel like wearing but drink tequila until you vomit on the party host’s phone, something I haven’t done since I was 18 years old and a theater student at SIU. They were very gracious about it, theater folk you know.

Anyway, I have an alternate suggestion for today. Though I am not the world’s biggest fan of Mexican beers–they’re mostly versions of German lagers that are lighter-bodied for the hot Mexican climate–I do drink the occasional Negra Modelo or, my suggestion for today, Bohemia.

Bohemia is a Mexican beer that does manage to have a decent amount of malt flavor to it. It lacks that targeted hop bitterness that a classic German Pils would have, and the aroma suggests the possibility of some cheaper adjunct grains in the mash, but it’s drinkable and pairs well with Mexican food. You did plan on eating Mexican food today, right? In my experience with midwestern Mexican restaurants, even the ones who do not list Bohemia on their menus will have some on hand. Maybe because it’s what the guys in the back enjoy drinking.

Of course then you may have pissed off the kitchen guys by drinking their beer. Life is a balancing act, and this beer, at 5.3% ABV, should not seriously impact your sense of balance. Unless you drink them like it’s St. Patrick’s Day.

On the subject of Bohemia, I think I may start a new featurette called “Bad Beer Reviews.” I found this little gem on the Beer Advocate profile for Bohemia.

Smells revoltingly sweet. Lots of corn grain with brown sugar and little else. Just bland and sweet. While I’m surprised that it has a smell, it’s not pleasantly so. It’s like when you first discovered Lady Gaga had a penis. It may or may not have been a surprise, but it certainly wasn’t a pleasant one.

(Emphasis mine)  This lovely snippet comes from an Australian fellow who is using a photo of Dylan Moran from the Black Books days as his BeerAdvocate profile picture. By way of comparison, here is a Dylan Moran penis quote:

We’re born with one finger up our nose and one hand on our penis and we just get taller.

Now that’s funny. Actually, the Lady Gaga / penis bit isn’t terrible either. It just doesn’t really belong in a beer review IMO. Lady Gaga’s genitalia is one of those things that just doesn’t need to wander into my consciousness while I’m thinking about beer.

Or while I’m wishing you a happy Cinco de Mayo either, for that matter. So, uh, enjoy the day. And try not to think about Lady Gaga or her penis.

 

Disclaimer: I am of course commenting solely on the Americanized booze-related Cinco de Mayo celebrations and not the Mexican holiday that provides the excuse for excess.